Whenever Did You Get It Done For The First Time and How A Lot Of People Perhaps You Have Completed It With, Huh? | Autostraddle

In February 2015, Autostraddle launched
The Ultimate Lesbian Intercourse Survey
, open to all “lady-types exactly who sleep with lady-types.” We earned over 8,566 total reactions (89per cent that happened to be from individuals involving the years of 18 and 36) and from now on we’re discussing the outcomes with you, piece by piece. Formerly:
How Many Times Do Queer Females Have Intercourse?
100 Gayest Places You Had Gender
The Masturbation Habits of Queer Women
50 Really Exciting Things Wanted All Of Us To Know About How You Make Love
26 Pieces of Strong Sex Advice
41 Feelings You Have About Scissoring
Listed Here Are The Extremely Queer Underwear-Wearing Habits
With Regards To Orgasms, Lesbians Tend To Be Nailing It
The 100 Most Committed Spots You Had Sex
. Nowadays we are referring to when you destroyed the virginity as well as how numerous partners you had!

What Exactly Is Lesbian Sex?

An average United states will lose their virginity on ages of 17 — but “virgins” are defined as humans who possessn’t had heterosexual penis-in-vagina sexual intercourse with a different-senior sex partners, which means many queer ladies who’ve had gender with women was considered “virgins” by that meaning. So how will we also start when writing on that patriarchal V-Card in a queer context?

Well, we’re here, we are queer, so we have actually fantastic sex, which 92percent people agree might be thought as “any time you may be with a minumum of one other individual and somebody is attempting which will make some body have a climax.” 66per cent suspect shared self pleasure matters, 81.5% count dental gender and 80% consider fingering (digital penetration) becoming sex. For the 9.49percent which showed “other” as well as or rather than the other options for “How could You establish Lesbian Sex?”, one noted:

“This is a painful question. Do lesbians have intercourse? The epistomological base of the term ‘sexual’ means to sever or split. I’d declare that intimacy between females does the exact opposite of sever. It makes us whole. We truly need an alternative word than intercourse to explain this.”

Very, there you choose to go. Ok last one, right after which we now have this flowchart:

this might be a flowchart on how to determine if you have had lesbian sex. only a reminder.

Okay, therefore, since we have now founded that lesbian intercourse is actually an actual thing and this we are able to determine it however the hell we desire, why don’t we discuss once you made it happen the very first time, just how many men and women you’ve accomplished it with, and so forth.

Very First Time

I’m 33 yrs old, and frankly I am not sure lots of queer females my age or earlier just who actually realized another queer lady in senior high school, not to mention wished to along with the opportunity to have intercourse with one â€” this means I happened to be entirely unprepared based on how nearly all you’d ladysex during the early adolescence and for that reason we don’t ask for a get older beyond “16 or under.” If we had, we can easily’ve offered an “average get older of which a queer woman has actually intercourse with another queer girl the very first time,” but we did not, so we can’t! Still, absolutely substantially more to chat and think about because of this information.

Carry Out Queer Ladies Make Love Prior To When Right Women?

Based on the test, yes — but the sample is ready individuals in a study about sex, therefore hold that at heart.
One-third of United states teens have obtained sex from the period of 16
, but 43% people had gender by the chronilogical age of 16 — and amongst that number of 3,101 who would had intercourse of the ages of 16, 44percent had done so with a person, 36% had done so with a female, and 20percent had done thus with both women and men.

If we evaluate


lesbian-identified females, though, those numbers are various, which implies that chance a queer lady has had gender with a guy is a huge factor in if or not she actually is had intercourse of the chronilogical age of 16. Just 21% of lesbians had intercourse at 16 or younger, and of that selection of 1,832 females, 41percent did thus with men, 41per cent performed so with a female, and 17.9percent did very with both.

Surprisingly, there isno difference between lesbians and bisexuals about resting with females prior to the period of 16 — it comes out over about 20% for.

The Age Element

Generational differences are tremendously essential when considering this data ready. Whether you have ever had sex with one when you initially had gender with a female are highly about how old you are — more mature women are prone to have slept with guys at some time and less likely to being with a lady at a younger get older. This makes perfect sense: return two decades & most teenage women having sexual intercourse together would’ve needed to ensure that it stays extremely quiet, go-back three years or more and obtaining caught in a lesbian sexcapade could’ve damaged your life. That’s however correct for a number of queer women, yet not into same degree whilst was in days gone by.

33per cent of those over 40 did it with a female the very first time at 18 or younger, compared to 64.7percent of under-21s. Obviously more youthful individuals will report more youthful years of having had gender, because young people that haven’t had gender are less likely to want to fill in the review to begin with, so those figures are just reasonably relevant — but additionally, 9.38per cent of under-21s which performed take the survey have not ever endured gender with a woman, when compared with 1per cent of over 40s.

Additionally, there is an extreme generational huge difference when you consider exactly how many women experienced sex with men, which mathematically talking, can occur for the first time circa age 17 and for that reason provides a very securely managed view how stuff has altered considering that the time whenever intercourse with males was actually mandatory and gender with women had been tricky to find. (Although, to-be reasonable, it surely wasn’t socially acceptable for ladies to have sex with


they certainly weren’t hitched to for most of human history.) 49.6per cent of under-21s have obtained sex with a man, compared to 76.7% of these over 30 and 81.4percent over 40.

For all bisexual, queer, pansexual and otherwise-identified human beings, gender with men is an activity they truly desire carrying out, very, in order to get a better view people who’ve had gender with men despite (during the time or fundamentally) planning to have sex solely with women, I narrowed industry just to lesbian-identified females. The figures were almost similar for earlier ladies, but shifted a little for more youthful types: 41per cent of under-21 lesbians have experienced gender with a guy, compared to 78per cent of lesbians over 40. This really is one of several main reasons why it really is thus discouraging whenever lesbian identification is policed centered on if or not you have

ever before

had sex with a man — you’re possibly doubting a whole generation of women their identification.

Of everyone who’d had sex with a person, 91.7percent did very for the first time from the age of 21 or earlier, but only 76per cent of these who’d had intercourse with a woman pulled it well before the age of 21. Often it takes somewhat longer to learn that you prefer females anyway, and often it really takes a little much longer to find a woman whom loves you right back. Heteronormativity is actually a robust force, y’all.

Just How Many People Have You’d Gender With?

That is a question, header book! I’ll answer it for you now:

What is actually really interesting this is how more lovers you’ve had than directly females! In line with the CDC,
10percent of women involving the ages of 25 and 44 have seen gender (oral, vaginal or anal) along with 15 guys
— meanwhile, 29.4percent on the women between 25 and 44 on all of our review have obtained intercourse along with 15 people. That’s nearly three times a lot more!

There are many possible explanations because of this. The very first is that
queers are more likely to end up being non-monogamous
. The second is that there’s less stigma around “promiscuity” in queer circles — my personal “number” is something I became


conscious of and requested when I dated guys, but virtually zero of women I dated have actually asked for it. The next is the fact that people with vulvas that sex along with other people with vulvas do not exposure maternity, therefore informal gender can feel more, well,


What other facets play a role in what number of sexual associates you have had? Well, right here are cross-tabbed facets which had more remarkable outcomes:

Another fascinating correlation was actually “interest in kink.” 30per cent of those really or exclusively into kink have obtained 16+ sexual associates, versus 14.5percent of these who are not really curious or not contemplating kink.

In addition, athough the trial sized Muslim-identified women (26) had been too tiny for statistically significant results, that tiny class did report way less sexual lovers than other spiritual teams. Buddhists (214 participants) and Wiccans (157 participants) were very likely to have numerous sexual lovers than other religious groups — 18per cent of Buddhists reported 25+ intimate associates, when compared to 11% with the entire group.

Would a lot more lovers correlate with getting more confident between the sheets?

Yes. 70.4% of those with 1-2 lovers had been either notably


very confident in bed, in comparison to 97.5per cent of those with 100+ lovers. The differences are more serious on either end of the spectrum — 71.6per cent of these with 100+ associates are particularly confident, compared to 18.7per cent of those with 1-2 lovers and between 30 and 55 % of the with companion counts including 6 to 99. The greater news is that a lot of you happen to be confident in bed, period — 82.4% from the entire team are somewhat or really self-confident and just 9.23% tend to be “not confident” or “really maybe not positive.”

So, there you have got it! Queer ladies have significantly more intimate lovers than direct ladies and appear to have gender the very first time all over exact same age, also. Queers: they are like queers!

Before going!

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